please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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