I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
