I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
