K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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