please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
