WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
