i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Even my vagina gasped.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
