I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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