That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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