Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
