some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
