moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
