I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
