Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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