oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
