I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I love having hate sex.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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