Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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