hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
