Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
