I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
