im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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