Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
