Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
