lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
