I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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