and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
