David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
