Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
