Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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