I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she smelled like a LAN party
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
