How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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