I feel great
I just peed on a car
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
