I just saw a hot homeless man
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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