Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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