420 ftw
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
