I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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