I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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