Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize