hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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