Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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