It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize