Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize