i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
