Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
