I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
