And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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