Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
