sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize