he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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