is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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