your parents love me but you hate me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
