Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
