And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
