the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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