i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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